My Testimony

My Name is Vahan Isaoglu and I desire to share my “Jesus Idea” Testimony.

I was born in Istanbul, Turkey.  I am an ethnic Armenian.  I am currently the Pastor at the Kadikoy International Church, on the Asian side of Istanbul, Turkey.   I would like to share God’s blessed story of how I became a Christian.

During my formative days, I struggled with the wide range of unpleasant and painful emotions.  My father and mother were filled with bitterness as they experienced and reexperienced our tragic ancestor’s history of rejection and suffering.  They loved each other but did not know how to communicate and process such pain.  They fought every day with a hopeless attitude and sadly, with more shouting than smiles.  My father Garbis demonstrated and taught me how to pray the “Hayr Mer”, the Lord’s Prayer in Armenian.  Without understanding, I was doing it every night before I went to sleep. 

I reflect back when I was 18 years old as I had become this goofy, smiley, funny guy with many friends, yet I felt that my life was hopeless.  There were two Vahans; the happy, social, friendly Vahan and the lonely, bitter and angry Vahan.  During this phase of life, my soul was covered in darkness.  I filled my voids and emptiness by seeking fame and notoriety by writing poems, and with radio and website involvement.  During this same time, my mother was also living in darkness and was strongly seeking spiritual fulfillment.  She sought God everywhere as she consulted fortune tellers, Islamic hocas (Teachers at the Mosque) and even traditional churches as she searched to find the source of her pain and emptiness.  

One day in 1998, my mother (Juliet) informed us, “I met a man that will change our lives and His name is Jesus”.  I respectfully smiled and ignored her.  I was 20 years old living a “colorful life” and this intrusive “Jesus idea” was not going to interrupt my pursuit of worldly passions.  As a matter of fact, during this period of my life, I had been arrested and in jail at least 10 times for street racing, street fighting, alcohol intoxication, and involvement with criminals.  I even carried guns and knives as part of my personal protection plan.

Something was changing as my mom began attending a Christian Church and even got my father to also attend.  My attention was peaked as I began to observe my father exhibiting positive life changes as a result of him joining and attending church (Moda Presbyterian Church) with mom along with my younger brother and sister.  My parents and family began praying and worshiping “this Jesus” and praying for me.  I really felt strange and uncertain about all of this, Yet, I began to witness a kindness and calmness in my parents’ home in stark contrast to years of fighting usually over petty things.  I witnessed anger and bitterness being replaced with love and joy.  I secretly liked this change.  

Before this transition in my parents, I avoided coming home for years after work often going to pubs with friends to avoid this chaotic home environment.  Now, for the first time in my life, there was a wonderful new peace in my house.  An internal confusion was brewing inside me.  I was feeling the prayers and a pressure concerning the “Jesus Idea” but I strongly resisted attending church with my family.  In my stubborn pride, I decided that this “new founded peace” in my parents’ home was just an illusion, a transient or temporary phase.  It certainly could not be real or lasting as there was no peace in my life.  I believed and thought that “This was only a game”.  But deep inside, I knew I was the one who was really confused.  I asked, “What is this Jesus Idea?”  Why did my parents teach me the Jesus prayer, known as the Lord’s prayer before their profession of Jesus?

I resisted my mother’s faithful pressure as I was more interested in my colorful sinful life.  She was praying for me and frequently saying to me, “Vahan, you need to come to Jesus!”  Despite my mother’s pursuit for my soul, I continued to experience the detrimental problems with alcohol, night life and many other “colorful” things.  In frustration, one day I said, “Mom please!   I will do whatever you say, “just please stop talking about Jesus everyday”.  In my frustrations and to placate her, I even prayed with my mom that day, though it was not from my heart.  (In retrospect, I now realize that God was using my mom and that prayer to transform my heart and begin a relationship with Jesus.)

I was financially very successful at age 19 doing graphic art design and so much so that I could even purchase a car and support my whole family.  Despite such wealth, I was feeling so empty that I would write poems seeking solace for myself.  Some of these poems even became popular on the internet and radio and brought me notoriety as they often resonated with other people who were struggling as I was. 

Privately, I started to read the Bible in Turkish, and I soon discovered that Jesus is the most honest, merciful and powerful person.  I was confused but attracted to the powerful aspect of Jesus, so, I began to attend the church with my family with the motive that “I wanted to become a soldier for this Lord Jesus”.

Despite all of this, nothing had changed in my heart after attending church.  I still had no internal peace.  I did not feel powerful.  Maybe some nice feelings but…it still wasn't enough to fix my life’s debris, sorrow and pain.

One night I could not breath as my soul was surrounded by a suffocating darkness.  My life was empty.  I had many years of unanswered questions.  I felt that there was no purpose for being alive.  I felt alone, I was angry and struggling with the future.  I was asking, what is the purpose for living?  Wealth?  Work?   Maybe a future marriage, kids, then death?  Why?  Why was I created?  What was the difference between me and an autumn leaf, floating aimlessly?  Where was I going when I die?  I was drowning in these thoughts and questions.  

I began to pray that evening.  Soon after, I recalled a letter which was given to me over a year prior titled “A Letter from Heavenly Father”.  I then retrieved this letter and began to read all of the verses listed on this letter one by one.  The letter wanted me to believe that “HE IS LOVE!” and “GOD LOVES ME”.  I thought, “This concept could not be true”.  Where was that love?  Why?  Where?  How?  I believed that this letter has written to manipulate or convince people to be religious Christians and that “God’s love was a lie.” Certainly, God cannot love someone like me and I decided that night to prove that the letter is wrong.  

In my pride, I began to read the multiple cited verses in the letter directly from the bible.  I quickly realized that there were a very large number of verses talking about God’s love in the biblical scriptures and they were personal.  Here are a few cited in the letter.

You may not know me, but I know everything about you.  Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.  Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.  Psalm 139:3

After a few hours of reading and checking the numerous (maybe 30 + ) other verses, I felt the presence of another person in the room,  my heart began to burn as I felt the verses were going deep to my heart, I felt the shame of my sin  and I began to cry as I realized that these words of scripture were the Truth.  As I am experiencing the shame of my sins, I then found myself repeating this sentence…

“I want to be your son. I want to live as your son. Father… Father…”

My heart was burning more and more.  I experienced pure love pouring into my heart as I continued to sense that someone else was in my room.  

I then realized that it was sunrise and when I looked out of the window, the world looked different to me… Everything looked different to me.  That morning, I was a new person.  All the darkness that had engulfed me left and fled into hell.  My soul was suddenly filled with God’s shining light and my heart for the first time, I was free of demonic control.  I now had Jesus and His spirit.  Two years after my family came to the “Jesus Idea”, I now started to follow Jesus. 

Since that time, God has grown me and blessed my life in many ways.  Serving in His Church, Pastor at the Kadikoy International Church, Evangelical outreach on radio, internet and TV, serving the greater evangelical church in Turkey, etc.  He provided my beautiful wife Lydia and two children.

In closing, I want to share this tender story, especially for all my Armenian brothers and sisters.  

Years later in 2015, approximately 10 minutes before my father’s Garbis’s funeral at the Armenian Samatya Orthodox Church, the priest approached me with a little disdain saying, 

“Vahan, you need to come to your original (home) church, there are 70,000 Armenians that need to hear the messages from our Lord”, “We need help!”, “Why are you serving somewhere else?”  “Please, don’t do that.”

God prompted and encouraged me as I responded to my beloved priest:  

“I can see that you preach the word, and that you serve our (Armenian) people as the disciple Peter.  God gave a calling to Peter to serve his own Jewish people and I very much appreciate this and your service to our (Armenian) people.    

But the bible also states that the disciple Paul was called to preach the same gospel to other nations.  This is my calling for today, to serve the Turkish population. 

We hugged each other, cried and prayed for each other. 

Then, this beloved priest preached the most inspiring, evangelical, full gospel message and sermon at my father’s funeral that I had ever heard.  With reference to Garbis my father he stated, 

Garbis is not in heaven because he was baptized in this church, 

He is not in Heaven because he wore the vest and serve on the alter in his youth

He is not in heaven because he is Armenian

And he is not in heaven because he cited the Lord’s prayer regularly, No,

He is in heaven for only for one reason, He gave his life to Jesus in 1999.  

Since that day the priest and I are very good friends. 

This is my story.  I am blessed!  Praise be to God!  God healed me and my family from generational pains, darkness and bitterness.  I am truly a new creation in Christ.  

I have one very important request to parents especially faithful mothers.   Mom’s please never stop praying and kindly nagging your children for the Lord.  The Holy Spirit is always working.  My life is a testament to such persistence.